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Archive for 'open letters'

Even the Devil Wouldn’t Recognize You

 
I do.

Living Through Chemicals

Accept everything about yourself — I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end — no apologies, no regrets.
- Clark Moustakas
I am all for that.  However, that does not mean that one is in the right in everything one does.  I, for example, crave distraction.  It’s cyclic.  Sometimes I am [...]

Word to Your Chiropractor

When you see me charging toward you and hear me speak clearly and perhaps somewhat loudly the words "EXCUSE ME," that is your cue to get the fuck out of my way.
There was a wall of people.  Somebody was going to have to move to let me pass.  I chose you.  You didn’t budge.
You were [...]

I Will Survive

I don’t care that Bear Grylls is English and rather tall.  Les Stroud is much cooler and far more authentic.  Also, he just seems generally more trustworthy.  Survivorman is a much better show than Man vs. Wild.  Les Stroud approaches the wilderness with much more dignity and care than Bear appears to.  Bear, well… he [...]

Your Offspring Ruined My Meal

 
Dear White Trash Breeders & Wanna-be Sushi-Eaters:

The server at the Japanese restaurant does NOT need to reheat your mewling infant’s jars of strained filth.  She certainly does not need to reheat them twice, because she didn’t get them warm enough for your screeching little parasite the first time you imposed upon her to do something [...]