In an astonishingly anticlimactic personal victory, I managed to spend three hours at my favorite bar without accepting expensive gifts from drunken strangers, flirting with anybody, getting into any brawls or punching anyone in the face.  I only had three drinks.

I was bored and irritable.

I left early.

Clearly, I was meant for so much more.

The following day, it came to light that another of my favorite drinking establishments had discontinued my favorite fancy-ass martini, the Midnight.  The Midnight had fresh brewed espresso in it.  How such a thing could be discontinued, I do not know. 

Oh, wait.  I liked it.  See Clorox FreshCare and the Yam Neau salad at Zen Zero. 

Bastards.

And people wonder why I hoard.