I have often remarked that my nightly dinners in Hell will consist of foods I hate: ham, peas, candied yams, grapefruit, bananas, gelatin of any kind… imagine my shock and horror at seeing this dish, which includes bananas wrapped in ham, an unidentified opaque sauce, and what appear to be pickled crab apples. 

I was born in the sixties, but tell me true: did people really eat that shit?

Or were these heinous recipes developed by ad team wasted on Famous Grouse served from a cut glass decanter, like on Bewitched?

I have no idea what’s in that yellow sauce, but I can tell you exactly what’s in this jiggling carbuncle:

FUCKING MAYONNAISE, that’s what.

I actually really like mayonnaise, but, dude… IN A JELL-O MOLD?  That’s just revolting!  

Here’s the recipe:

2 envelopes unflavored gelatin
1 cup cold water
1/4 cup vinegar
2/3 cup Kraft Mayonnaise
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2 cups shredded cucumber, drained
1 tablespoon grated onion
1 cup heavy cream, whipped

Soften gelatin in combined water and vinegar; retch over sink.  Stir over low heat until dissolved.  Cool.  Gradually add gelatin, to mayonnaise, ruing the day of your birth. Add salt and pepper, mix well.  Chill until partially set, fold in cucumber, whipped cream and onion.  Pour into oiled (ew!) five-cup mold.  Chill until firm.  Unmold; garnish with cucumbers and radishes if desired.  Serves six to eight sputtering, sobbing victims.

Photographs ganked from community.livejournal.com/vintage_ads